Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Do Long Distance Relationships Work? Four Factors To Consider

Relationships Work

Have you ever been apart from a loved one and wondered, "Do long distance relationships work?" Are you struggling with the decision to continue or end a relationship because of geographic distance? What are the odds that such a relationship can really work? In this age of increased technology; e.g., online dating, Facebook, and increased job turnover, more people in relationships are living apart than ever before. There are many factors that influence the relative success of such a relationship. Here are a few to consider:

Did the relationship start out long distance?

If a couple has always lived apart, there are not as many adjustments to be made as there would be if they had been in the same household for several years and then suddenly were separated. For couples who become separated due to a job, schooling, etc., relationship rules suddenly need major changes, and this can upset the delicate balance. On the other hand, partners who have had the opportunity to live together already may have forged stronger bonds of intimacy that will help them withstand the separation. So, do long distance relationships work? So far, it's a toss-up.

How often can the couple meet face-to-face?

Being separated on weekdays is one thing, when you have long weekends together. Such an arrangement can even bring zest to a relationship where familiarity has bred, if not contempt, a little boredom. But separations for months on end can become damaging to the fabric of the relationship. Partners may tend to former closer relationships with others in their new orbit or to become so independent of each other that co-existence under one roof becomes a land mine. Do long distance relationships work? The vote is: not as likely if separations are long.

For how long will be relationship be long distance?

Applying the same logic, a short-term arrangement of long distance dating or marriage can be an interesting challenge, and even breathe new life into the relationship's routine. If the relationship lasts for years, partners may have two separate lives and experience difficulty staying in the same orbit. Do long distance relationships work? Short-term, yes. Long-term: consider the warning signs.

What are the levels of trust and independence?

Each partner's personality influences the relative success of a long distance relationship. A suspicious or dependent mate will really struggle with physical separation. On the other hand, couples who have high degrees of trust, coupled with an enjoyment of time alone and independence, may actually thrive in such a relationship. Do long distance relationships work? With compatible personalities, the answer may be yes.

As you can see, there is no clear answer to the question: do long distance relationships work? A complex set of factors influences the success or failure of any relationship. If you are facing a potential long distance relationship in your life, consider: the history of your relationship, the length and type of separation, your own personality and that of your partner. A thoughtful analysis of these factors may help you decide if you are ready to pursue or maintain a relationship with a far-away loved one.

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This article is contributed by Tina Jones from the Unforgettable Woman Publishing Team. She works together with founder Alexandra Fox and writes dating/relationship articles for women. You can find more about Unforgettable Woman Publishing by visiting their website.

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